Culture
by midna03
Summary: Kars takes Wamuu and Esidisi to a picture show to learn about humans. As you can probably tell, things don't go that smoothly.


p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="text-decoration: underline;"Culture/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"strong style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"Hey everyone, it's been a while since I've been active. This is something stupid I wrote, I've been into Jojo for quite some time now. Hope you like it! /strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal"strong style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"Midna03/strongspan style="text-decoration: underline;"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"(Esidisi = ACDC)/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Get up."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Esidisi lifted his head lazily. "Huh? What for?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars was putting on his black overcoat, and reached for his fedora that lay nearby./p  
p class="MsoNormal""We are going to learn about human culture," Kars said./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Esidisi groaned. "What does that-"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Where is Wamuu?" Kars asked, throwing a coat at Esidisi. "Wamuu!"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Within seconds of his name being called, Wamuu raced past a confused Esidisi and was bowing before Kars. "You called, my lord?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""We are going out, come with us."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Yes, my Lord."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Hey wait a minute!"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars glared at Esidisi, who was still lying on the floor. After a staring each other down for a moment Esidisi reluctantly put on the coat./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Can I at least know where we're going?" he said, defeated./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars gave Wamuu a spare coat, who thanked him for his generosity. "I believe it is called a film."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""…What the fuck is that?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Esidisi! Do not use that language around Wamuu!" Kars snapped, blowing out the candles nearby. "Should never have let you read human books," he muttered./p  
p class="MsoNormal"-/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Outside was cold. Bitter frost coated the ground as the three pillar men made their way through the streets of Italy. Wamuu breathed into the air, fascinated at how it condensed in a mist in front of him./p  
p class="MsoNormal""I do not remember it being this cold in Italy, Lord Kars."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars nodded in response. "It was summer back when we last woke, Wamuu. Do not worry, we are nearly there."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Esidisi raise an eyebrow. "Do you really know where we're going?" he murmured./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars ignored him, and they all walked in silence. People who past them would stare uneasily, shuffling around the three giants to get past as quick as possible. Eventually they reached the building, lights illuminating a sign outside through the darkness./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Aah yes, here it is," Kars spoke, making his way to the front of the building. The two others followed, pushing through the line of people that was there previously./p  
p class="MsoNormal"One guy close to the front of the line was nudged into his girlfriend, and growled at the pillar men. "Hey buddy, get to the back of the l-"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"The three giants turned around slowly, to glare at the man behind them. The man froze, his eyes wide as he backed away into his girlfriend. The pillar men turned back once the man had retreated, and Kars moved forward to talk to the attendant./p  
p class="MsoNormal""We want to see a film," Kars said, his eyes cold./p  
p class="MsoNormal"The attendant was a young man, confused and a little scared of the strangely dressed, 7ft tall behemoths in front of him./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Uh…okay. How about the most popular one?" the attendant said with a thick Italian accent./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars' eyes narrowed. "What is that?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Uh, it's a romance film."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Esidisi pushed his way past Wamuu. "Kars, hurry up! Even with my blood I'm freezing!"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Stop whining," Kars hissed. "That will suffice."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars pulled out a wallet from his coat and dumped a wad of money in front of the attendant. "That should do. Where do we go?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"The attendant was startled; the pile was three times the price for all of them. Too scared to say anything, the attendant quickly showed three tickets to Kars and pointed to a number. Kars snatched them and went inside, followed by the other two./p  
p class="MsoNormal"To their gladness the room was dark, only illuminated by a dim lights at the sides of the room. Kars made his way to the front of the screen, but struggled to sit in the ill-fitting seats./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Do you need assistance, my Lord?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Wamuu grabbed the arm rests on each of the seats and tore them off, tossing them aside. A couple behind them said nothing, their mouths wide in shock./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Thank you Wamuu," Kars said, sitting down and resting his feet on another seat. "I never understood the concept of these."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""It is tedious, my Lord."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"When both of them got comfortable Kars frowned, turning his head to look around in confusion. "Where is Esidisi?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Just as he said that Kars heard a loud thud as the third pillar man sat down next to Wamuu, holding a large bucket of popcorn./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars leaned forward in his seat and stared him down. "…What on earth is that?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Esidisi wasn't fazed, and smiled back at Kars. "Human food. Wanna try?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"As Esidisi leaned over to offer the food, Kars smacked the popcorn kernel out of his hand, and Esidisi's smile faded./p  
p class="MsoNormal""You're a real ass, you know that?" Esidisi grumbled, picking up another kernel and tossing it into his mouth./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Where did you even get that?" Kars said indignantly./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Outside."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanKars blinked. "I used all our money to get us in, how did you acquire it?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Esidisi smirked, and pointed to an outline on his headpiece where there was once a gem. "Trade."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars paused, before running a hand down his face. "You have no dignity," he sighed./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Well we're learning about culture, aren't we? Hey Wamuu, wanna try? It's not bad."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Wamuu shifted, slightly uncomfortable from being wedged in between the two others. "If I am allowed, Master."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"The people that were now shuffling into the room were baffled when they noticed the three huge men sitting at the front, blocking the entire view. A few people nearer the front started whispering, wondering what three men like them were doing watching a romance flick. While the pillar men were bickering the lights had been dimmed, signalling the movie was to start. When the projector beamed on the screen it shone, startling Kars and Esidisi and causing them to groan from the light./p  
p class="MsoNormal""My Lord, shield your eyes!"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Wamuu acted immediately, throwing himself onto Kars to in an attempt to protect him. Kars groaned louder when Wamuu thudded on top of him, and Esidisi yelled when he nearly knocked his popcorn away with his feet./p  
p class="MsoNormal""It is fine Wamuu, I do not think it will be dangerous," Kars said through gritted teeth. "Please get off me."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Wamuu froze. "Yes my Lord, I apologise."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"-20 minutes into the film-/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Most of the people in the theatre had either given up and left, or had moved to the sides of the room so they could see around the pillar men. The three watched the film in silence./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Wamuu's brow was furrowed in confusion. "I do not understand this film, Lord Kars," he said loudly./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Keep your voice down, Wamuu," Kars murmured. "Humans prefer silence while watching."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""I see, my apologies."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"There was a moment of silence, only broken by Esidisi eating. Kars leaned in to whisper to Wamuu./p  
p class="MsoNormal""From what I have deduced, I believe the story is about the female wanting to find someone to bear her children. But the male she has chosen is disinterested, and desires the whore currently shown."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""An excellent deduction my Lord," Wamuu praised./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Esidisi leaned over Wamuu to address Kars. "This is stupid, can we leave?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars frowned. "No, I used our money on this so it will have to do."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Esidisi didn't object but muttered something under his breath./p  
p class="MsoNormal"-50 minutes into the film-/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Hmm, interesting," Kars muttered, reaching into his coat and pulling out paper and a quill./p  
p class="MsoNormal"This caught Wamuus attention. "What are you doing, master?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars began writing down something, glancing to look at the screen for a few seconds before scribbling again. "It appears to be a mating ritual. This could be useful."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Wamuu was impressed by Kar's dedication. But he also noticed his eyes growing weak, not used to looking at bright light for such a length of time. "Master, may I step outside for a bit? My eyes grow weary."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""You may, Wamuu."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Thank you Master."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"When the pillar man stood up there was a groan from the audience, as his shadow cast across the screen. Kars continued writing as Wamuu walked away, and shuffled closer to Esidisi./p  
p class="MsoNormal""I am not sure how much longer this lasts. But there is not much to gain from it, maybe we should-"/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Shh!" Esidisi hissed. "People are trying to watch the film."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars raised an eyebrow, and went back to writing./p  
p class="MsoNormal"-1 hour and 30 minutes into the film-/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars rested his head on his hand, staring bored at the screen. He could hear some people weeping behind him. He glanced at Wamuu next to him, and saw he was resting with closed eyes. Kars placed a hand on him to nudge him awake, but only realised his mistake when Wamuu immediately launched a punch in Kars' direction. The other managed to dodge in time, but this caused Wamuu to punch straight through one of the seats. A few people yelped, startled at the sudden noise./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Wamuu blushed. "My apologies, my Lord. Just instinct."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""It is quite alright Wamuu. I have been giving thought and I feel this may have been a bad idea."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""How so, my lord?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars looked around, and nodded to the groups of people each side of the room, staying as far away from the centre as possible. "We seem to have attracted a lot of attention."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Wamuu turned around and stared at the humans like an lion in a zoo. They whispered nervously to each other and backed even further away. "I agree, my lord."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars turned back to the screen and made a noise in disgust, as the two humans in the film shared a passionate kiss. "What a tedious film this is."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Kars rolled his eyes, but paused when he heard a sniff from the front row. He leaned forward, but saw no one else had entered the row they were in. He turned his head left./p  
p class="MsoNormal""…Esidisi, you are being unusually quiet."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Another sniff./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Do not tell me you are crying from this garbage."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""…No."/p  
p class="MsoNormal""Oh for goodness sake," Kars blurted./p  
p class="MsoNormal""It's an emotional film! If you actually paid attention," Esidisi snivelled, but Kars was already putting on his coat./p  
p class="MsoNormal""Come on Wamuu. Esidisi can stay if he wants but we are leaving."/p  
p class="MsoNormal"When two of them stood up and began to exit, the audience collectively breathed a sigh of relief. After a few seconds of sulking, Esidisi grumbled under his breath and rose to follow the other two. As soon as the three pillar men had left the room, everyone collectively returned to fill the centre seats, except for the front row which had been damaged beyond repair./p 


End file.
